February 2010
6 posts
Me: How many psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You: How many?
Me: Eight.
You: Why?
Me: You're over-analyzing.
“Don’t you realize? The next time you see sky, it’ll be over another...”
– Mikey Walsh, The Goonies
Sam Jackson on a Unicycle
Me: Unicycling: I could never get into a hobby where the only time you don't look silly doing it is when you're onstage juggling bowling pins.
Me: I was prompted to comment when I was passed by a unicyclist while walking in the park yesterday. He was on a tall unicycle with his hands clasped behind his back, and looking silly, and it struck me that it's basically impossible to maintain any sort of dignity on a unicycle unless that's your gig. The skill is admirable, but the stature is wiggly and uncertain.
Guy: FYI I've gotten nothing but respect when riding my unicycle up and down mountain single track, especially from mountain bikers who think I'm the biggest BAMF they've ever seen.
Me: Bamf?
Guy: Bad A** Mother F***er
Me: On a unicycle? Are you packing heat?
Don't get me wrong, as I said before - I totally respect the skill. But it's hard for me to imagine someone being described in the same terms as Samuel L. Jackson's character from Pulp Fiction while wiggling uncertainly atop a single-wheeled novelty contraption.
Imagine the diner scene, or better yet the apartment scene in which he shouts bible verse before unloading his pistol on poor Brett - but this time with Sam Jackson at the helm of a unicycle...
I wouldn't describe Sam Jackson as a BAMF if he was on a unicycle, and I think that Sam Jackson's characters are usually BAMFs.
But, I also wouldn't give him a hard time if I saw him on one - I would more than likely say, "Hey, Mr. Jackson, who knew you had those wicked unicycle skills?"
But, I wouldn't laugh. Because, once he climbed down from the unicycle, he would, once again, be describable as a BAMF - and no one wants Samuel Jackson angry with them for laughing at him on a unicycle.
My point is that I can't imagine someone being described as a BAMF on a unicycle unless said person was carrying a large gun.
You may be a BAMF off the unicycle. You may be a bigger BAMF than Sam Jackson...
On second thought that's just not possible - Sam Jackson is the only BAMF in the world who gets paid for playing a parody of the baddest BAMF in existence - himself. It's impossible to be badder than that.
But, regardless of your BAMF status, I would find it hard to describe you as a BAMF while you were demonstrating your awesome unicycle skills.
And also, who tells someone else that they're a BAMF? I can't imagine the conversation where that comes up...
January 2010
1 post
Why are you so terribly disappointing? →
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1 post
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